The wine hater: If it is possible for you to listen to rap music while belching light beer, then you are totally out of sync with the “music of the spheres” and are a wine hater. There is no hope for you, please go away.

The wine tolerator: If you have read somewhere that drinking wine will add a few days onto your life, then you have come to tolerate the fermentations of the grape.  Seek out the cheapest expression of the process and tack on those extra days, while forfeiting the extra cocktails of the past.

The wine drinker: This person has a specific orientation, with likes and dislikes that can exclude entire varietals, no matter how vinified.  How is it possible to like red wine and hate the whites?  How can you dislike the Merlot grape while proclaiming the utter delight of Pinot Noir?  Such wholesale condemnations indicate a lack of satisfaction with wines as a whole and suggest that one’s allegiance remains with the straight or mixed drink.  Orders from the barstool will seldom issue forth a glass of fine wine.

The wine lover: This is my kind of person and the only one likely to be reading this far into my observations here.  When enjoying a dinner with one’s mate, the selection of a bottle is a consideration of what will play best with all the portions of the meal.  So, a compromise is met which reflects a balance with the meal and with individual taste preferences of the diners.  The wine lover is at his or her best when planning the selection for a dinner party of  six or more friends.  There are anxious moments while marrying the right style of the best grape to accompany each course.  A light Prosecco or Champagne will serve well as an aperitif.  No-oaked or lightly-oaked whites and reds launch the meal pleasantly, progressing towards the end of the meal with more dense whites or reds.  Sweet wines are a must with cheeses and fruits, and with whipped cream desserts, but not with rich heavy cakes and such.  This is as charming an experience as you can hope to have, especially if the cook is any good.  The wine lover is curious and enthusiastic about all the possibilities of all the grape varietals, and is in constant danger of over-load.  Knowing when to rein-in, short of unleashed ecstasy, is an important attribute. 

If you are still wondering what to do about that chocolate monstrosity, have a cup of coffee, or try a snifter of brandy, which is also a noble expression of the grape.

COSTA NICHOLS

You are not alone. 

I have been in the premium wine and spirits business for many years and have experienced the reenactment of this ritual over and over, several times a day.  Shopping for yourself is easy.  First, you look for your price range, and then note the familiarity of certain varietals.  Now you choose the prettiest label, or close your eyes and grab.

When it comes to pleasing someone else with your selection, you enter a state of fear, of failure to make the right choice and, thereby, to please.  There is a feeling of frustration, maybe anger at not having taken the time and effort of learning the language of wine.

Don’t beat yourself up over this; you are not about to intellectualize over the subject and, frankly, find it a bother.

So, you set about finding the nicest wine selection in your neighborhood and the wine expert that won’t make you feel like a fool.  Not to worry.  Most lovers of the grape in its fermented form are predisposed to share their knowledge with you.  They expend a big chunk of their lives reading voraciously about their subject.  Additional hours are devoted daily to sampling the many bottles that come their way, as personnel from wineries, distributors, importers and brokers vie for valuable shelf space.  Ultimately, they make their choices based on the pleasures of the palate, or, they cheat a little and buy wine that has received high ratings or medals.  Most wines have not been reviewed, so the shop owner now stamps the selection with his or her own personality.

Having found that shop that makes you feel comfortable about your purchases, let the owner or sales personnel get to know you better; at least, your tastes and needs.  Then, you will have curtailed that vexing fear of wine.

Costa Nichols